An Extrovert’s Guide to the Introvert You Love
Is your Introvert’s behavior confusing you? Making you feel unsure?
An Introvert gets energy from being alone. While an Extrovert gets energy from being with people.
How can two people be so different?
As a result, there are misunderstandings.
Feelings of being unloved.
Conflict.
You worry. Is your Introvert’s behavior normal?
Are you screwing up?
Or is something wrong with your relationship?
There’s good news for your dilemma. Hope comes with understanding.
Check out this guide to understand the Introvert in your life.
Here are 14 things your Introvert needs you to know:
1. If you talk to me while I’m driving, I will miss the turn or run a red light.
I need to concentrate when talking to someone.
To me, you are superhuman. You can carry on a conversation while doing any number of other tasks — driving, looking in the fridge, going to the bathroom, having sex.
2. If you talk to me while I’m cooking, the food will burn, pots will boil over, and I may slice my finger.
See #1.
3. At a social gathering, you can mingle while I hold this part of the wall up — thank you very much.
Speaking with one or two people at a time is my comfort zone.
In fact, I’d be happy conversing with one person the entire evening.
I don’t like surprises. So having my back to the wall prevents anyone from sneaking up on me from behind.
I want you to enjoy yourself and have a good time.
Please flit about all you desire. Do not feel obliged to stay by my side.
4. At a club, if I’m sitting here people-watching with a good drink and you’re happy, I’m having a good time.
Too much stimulation is overwhelming. And I’m not as good at social cues as you are.
I love it that you get me out of the house having fun.
I’m having fun if you are happy.
5. I’m not upset. This is my resting bitch-face.
Enough said.
6. If I’m not hugging you enough, hug me more.
I love it when we hug. I forget to initiate it, I know.
I’m trying to remember.
Please know that it doesn’t mean I don’t love you.
Let’s set up a clue you can give me when you need a hug. A tap on the shoulder?
Be sure to tell me in advance what the clue is, though.
7. When you ask me a question, and I don’t respond instantly — I’m thinking.
I measure my words. I only have so many in a day.
I have to dig down deep. And decide how I feel about what you asked.
You wear your heart on your sleeve.
I love and admire that about you!
Accessing your feelings is quick. They are right there.
But, I need time to put the question through my rigorous decision-making process.
If you are looking hot and sexy, my response will take longer. I’m distracted.
8. When you invite me to your company holiday party, here’s what I hear: Would you please come with me to experience Death by Small Talk.
I’ll smile and laugh at your coworkers’ lame jokes.
However, please don’t expect the gift of gab to flow from my lips. I’m trying hard not to embarrass you.
And above all, don’t ask me if I’m having a good time. See #7.
I’m at the party because it is important to you. And I love you.
Keep whispering in my ear throughout the night about what you want me to do to you when we get home. That will keep me smiling.
9. Please don’t use sarcasm with me.
It hurts my feelings.
Remember the part about not being good with social cues? I think a part of what you are saying is true.
10. I’d rather take care of twenty toddlers than share my feelings in a church small group.
And taking care of twenty toddlers terrifies me.
But not as much as sharing my feelings in front of a group of adults.
11. Reading a book is not boring.
It is exciting. Doesn’t talk back. Or make me share my feelings.
The time reading energizes me.
Then, I have the enthusiasm to interact with the Extrovert I love.
Giving my best self.
12. Networking is a four-letter word.
Coming up with what to say to one person is tough enough. But a whole room of people?
And they want me to be:
Intelligent, engaging, professional, vulnerable, and eloquent. All at the same time.
Yikes!
Where’s the buffet?
13. A lunch meeting “to talk” is not conducive to eating unless a stomach ache is on the menu.
Will you bring the Pepto-Bismol or should I?
14. I am not weird for going to a movie by myself.
Or a restaurant. Or shopping.
Or to a coffee shop.
I’m comfortable with my own company.
And most of all, being by myself energizes me so I can love you better.
Introverts and Extroverts function differently. And nobody is entirely one way or the other.
Think of it as a continuum.
Some people are more introverted. Some more extroverted.
But one isn’t better than the other.
Your Introvert might exhibit half of the above behaviors. Or all of them.
Now you have the inside scoop. A look into what is going on in your Introvert’s head.
You can be assured your Introvert is not trying to avoid you, cause conflict, or make you feel unloved.
With understanding and confidence, you can have a fabulous relationship!
By accepting them for who they are.
And keeping this Guide handy!
